Empowerment

Insist on giving your child your name

The tradition of children taking their father’s surnames is reasonable in the event that the child’s father is providing for the children and their mother; but in the event that child’s father is not married to its mother and is thus in no way willingly committed to the family, this child should take the name of the parent who has been present and active from day one. If you are single, pregnant, and are not engaged to the father of your unborn child, do not even consider hyphenating your surname with that of the child’s father. If you feel your child’s father deserves something down the road, give him the option of adding his last name as an extra middle name, but do not change your child’s last name. Men have been given the privilege of carrying on their family names simply because they are male for too long. This has got to change.

This, however, is a bigger commitment than you might think. In the event that you later marry someone other than your child’s father, you may consider hyphenating your surname with that of your new husband, but do not abandon that child whose name is yours by completely changing your last name. Your child was your first commitment, and you are the only true parent your child has. Any man who would want to marry an empowered woman will respect that your first and foremost commitment is to your child.

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